Saturday, 22 June 2019

TERMINAL ILLNESS


As most of you know, Tom has an illness called IPF.   This is a lung disease that gets progressively worse and there is not a cure.
It was just over a year when it was discovered after surgery for a different thing and we were all knocked sideways.

How do you deal with this kind of thing?  Its hard.

Over the past year we have been high and low. we've been positive and despairing.
We have been together for 58 years and been through a lot of ups and downs but this is the worst.

We all know that we will die one day but even if we are 80 years old we still have hope that we will live until we are 90, when you are given a life expectancy its different.

I write this as we have had a week of coming to terms shall we say.  The weather hasn't helped with it being damp because Tom finds it more difficult to breath and coughs a lot more, but we are gradually getting to the point where we are both accepting what is happening and trying our hardest to make the most of each day.

Today its sunny and the difference is marked, we both feel so much more positive.

One of the problems with Tom is that he looks so well and people find it difficult to accept that there is anything wrong.



So if you are well, make the most of each day and try not to complain about little aches and pains.
Non of us know what is in the future do we?

34 comments:

  1. Whenever you write your thoughts on here Briony you show us in your own special way how brave you both are. The love you both share for each other is evident in your words as well

    Love to you both from another 58er in a cold and wet Melbourne down under.
    Take care
    Cathy

    ReplyDelete
  2. enjoy each other while you can , its the good days that make it worth it

    ReplyDelete
  3. You know how hard I find it to be positive at times, Briony, when it often seems like we're constantly being bashed one way or another. I must strive to be more like you! Yes Tom does look well (I do like his red glasses!), as does my husband and like you, people tend not to believe that he's so unwell, especially since he hardly ever complains and makes light of his problems, even to the doctor. If only they could see him at home, when it's just him and me! He lets his guard down then. Sunshine and warm days do make things seem a lot better. We're newlyweds compared to you and Tom, it's only 38 years together for us! Thinking of you, Briony x

    ReplyDelete
  4. This is so very true. We never know what tomorrow will bring. Staying strong will help get you through the difficult days so that you can fully enjoy the good ones. Sending thoughts and prayers your way

    ReplyDelete
  5. I had a period of serious illness in my late 30's and as a result have been unable to have children. I have had depression since. I can't imagine being in your position. Try and get outside as much as possible. Everyone's different but i find anti-depressant tablets have helped me as well.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Dear Briony
    My thoughts are with you both. Enjoy every day (as much as you can).
    Best wishes
    Ellie

    ReplyDelete
  7. You are absolutely right about making the most of each day. Hugs to you and Tom from Florida where changes beyond my control seem afoot.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Wishing strength to you both.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Dear Briony ~ I am so sorry that you and Tom are dealing with this situation, but I see that God is keeping your spirits up, He gives you sunshiny days to dispel the gloomy ones, He's giving you more time together, and your love for each other grows stronger with each new day you are blessed with. I thought 43 years together was a long time, congrats on your 58 years together and may you enjoy many more days of loving each other.

    Love, hugs & prayers ~ FlowerLady

    ReplyDelete
  10. Whenever I feel fed up and as a result moan about my health etc, you have reminded me that it's not actually so bad Briony. Thank you. Tom looks like a lovely and kind man, and he has you. You are both very lucky.Enjoy each other until you both get as old as you can. x

    ReplyDelete
  11. I can't begin to understand what you are going through, so I'm not in a position to answer your questions. My thoughts are to treat each day as a bonus, to plan something nice to happen, something simple like a special piece of cake. To choose a time for this special treat, perhaps early evening when you are relaxing in a favourite chair.

    Could you arrange a friend to visit you for a coffee, a chat over the kitchen table. Distractions from the normal day might help. A phone call from a close relative, maybe. All you can do is take one day at a time, and try and make the next day better than the one before.

    Make some memories for your family, photographs. Ask Tom to write them letters, to keep and read over the years, and to be passed on to their kids and grandkids. I don't have anything from my grandparents and great grandparents except a couple of photo's. I wish I had more.

    The time you have left together is a gift to be treasured. Talk about the old times that you have enjoyed, 'do you remember', etc etc.

    Dear Briony, Tom will be going on a journey, one where you won't be going with him. Give him a good send off. He might be gone in body, but his memory will live on inside your heart. If it all becomes too much, have a bloody good weep. Lots of love, Ilona xxx


    ReplyDelete
  12. thanks for the reminder to live each day as if it is the last.. i have a friend who is 79 and has Lukemia and her life now has changed completely, just like yours and Toms have.. prayers for both of you and hugs to... glad you got a little sunshine. you said you could not take the sun and heat, i could not take rain.. i get really depressed when it rains. which means we are both in the place we need to be..

    ReplyDelete
  13. We take so much for granted each and every day. Not being able to get enough oxygen is certainly very scary. I looked up IPF to see exactly what it is. I know that you two are doing the best you can to make sure Tom is able to manage his symptoms and have protocol in place for any times of distress. 58 years is quite an accomplishment. Like you said, we never know what may come tomorrow so each day should be a celebration. Take care, xoxoxo Tammy

    ReplyDelete
  14. Blessings to you both. I know exactly where you are coming from, almost 2 years ago I too was diagnosed with a very rare and serious life changing scarey illness. The roller coaster journey of emotions, hospital appt and general daily living is very hard to explain to others the effect it has on those who are ill and the wider family and friends. So much has to be planned when doing things or going anywhere, you looked forward to it and then it cancelled as you aren't up to it. Like Tom, I smile a lot to the outside world and people think alls ok...... if only they knew. Much love xx

    ReplyDelete
  15. Oh Briony love my heart aches for you. These past few months have made me realise that good health is something that can never be taken for granted.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Such good advice at the end of your post, Briony. And you are right, none of us knows what's in the future. Sometimes life changes in a moment rather than gradually. I saw that with my father's stroke. Any one of us could find our lives upended this time tomorrow.

    I'm glad you're getting some sunshine to help change the scenery. Gray skies and rainy damp weather can be depressing at the best of times, let alone when every day counts. xx

    ReplyDelete
  17. Yes, I did know about this, but I am glad you have given us more details. I cannot imagine how hard this would be. Well, maybe a little, as Phil and I have been married 50 years. I would be devastated. I am hoping it is controlled to some degree with medicines. You are the first person that I have heard about this disease. Please know I will be praying for both of you, your stress must be off the charts.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Cherish every moment and take each day as it comes.x

    ReplyDelete
  19. I am thinking of youxx
    Arilx

    ReplyDelete
  20. Hugs from New Zealand. You are so right in saying we must enjoy each day. Sun makes such a difference. We have a sunny day here after several cloudy miserable days and it makes everything seem better but must be so hard to deal with Tom's diagnosis.

    You have such a wonderful relationship and positive outlook.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I will treasure your thoughts. 🕊️

    ReplyDelete
  22. I hope you have many more dry and sunny days together. x

    ReplyDelete
  23. It's such a terrible situation to be in and I don't think anyone can understand exactly what you're going through unless they're going through similar themselves. I admire the way you're both coping with things, trying to get the best out of every day even though you must be in turmoil inside. Sending my very best wishes and strength to you both xx

    ReplyDelete
  24. I found your blog in the favorite list at Ann's Snap Edit Scraps. I know your pain because my sweet husband and I are going through this, too. It's the hardest thing ever. We have so many friends and family praying for us and that brings us so much comfort. I will be praying for you and your Tom. God bless you both.
    Connie

    ReplyDelete
  25. I feel for you Briony - I really do but mostly I feel for your Tom. Not being able to breathe properly - it must be a bit like drowning. Thank heavens he has you by his side - "For better or worse, in sickness and in health".

    ReplyDelete
  26. Continuing to pray for you & Tom, Briony. I wish I had a magic wand that could make all of this go away for you. :-( Scarring fibrosis was found "accidently" when they did a scan for my coronary arteries. I have a doctor appt this coming Thursday. May God be with all of us on this earth as we come head-to-head with the realities of this life. Love, Andrea xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  27. Hugs to you and Tom from Florida...

    ReplyDelete
  28. Special thoughts and hugs to you and Tom♥ Linda xx

    ReplyDelete
  29. Sending Positive Vibes Brother Tom - Stay Strong

    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  30. I am 29 years old and have been diagnosed with breast cancer, ease of treatment and a similar story, except for my first acceptance as a rejection of herbal medicine. I was not part of the Perseid movement and did not really build relationships with any of them, I just believed in their operation. I say this because it was during the use of Dr. Itua herbal medicine that I now attest that herbal medicine is real, the phytotherapy Dr. Itua heal my breast cancer which I suffered for 2 years. Dr. Itua herbal medicine is made of natural herbs, with no side effects, and easy to drink. If you have the same breast cancer or any type of human illness, including HIV / AIDS, herpes,Ovarian Cancer,Pancreatics cancer,bladder cancer, prostate cancer,  Glaucoma., Cataracts,Macular degeneration,Cardiovascular disease,Autism,Lung disease.Enlarged prostate,Osteoporosis.Alzheimer's disease,Brain cancer,Esophageal cancer,Gallbladder cancer,Gestational trophoblastic disease,Head and neck cancer,Intestinal cancer,Kidney cancer,Melanoma,Mesothelioma,Multiple myeloma,Neuroendocrine tumors,Hodgkin lymphoma,Oral cancer,Ovarian cancer,Sinus cancer,,Soft tissue sarcoma,Spinal cancer,Stomach cancer,Testicular cancer,Throat cancer,Thyroid Cancer,Uterine cancer,Vaginal cancer,Vulvar cancer.psoriasis ,Tach Diseases,Lupus,Endomertil Cancer, cerebrovascular diseases,
    Dementia.lung cancer,skin cancer,testicular Cancer,Lupus, , LEUKEMIA, VIRUSES, HEPATITIS, INFERTILITY WOMEN / MAN,CONTACT EMAIL / WHATSAPP:  Or  drituaherbalcenter@gmail.com/ +2348149277967

    ReplyDelete
  31. For years, I have read and seen the advertisements in the mass media about all of the penis enhancement pills and thought that they were all scams or gimmicks. All of the medical sites that I have visited stated that none of the herbal supplements would ever help increase the size of a penis. I got very depressed when I read this, because unfortunately I was not naturally blessed with a penis that was big enough to arouse my sexual partner or past partners. I am a man that is past my sexual primetime and my sexual performance has a lot to be desired. I decided to try Doctoc Akhigbe herbal medicine after all the reading and researching that I have done.I saw a testimony " Joe" about doctror Akhigbe Herbal Medicine Since there is a Money Back Guarantee, I give him a trial what did I have to lose? I couldn't believe the results I was seeing after drinking the Natural  Herbal Medicine  and Herbal Soap to be rubign my penis! he sent to me through DHL courier delivery service . Within about 2 weeks I had a noticeable increase in the girth of my penis. Then after a coupleof aditional week it started to grow in length and I was amazed and very excited.before I finish the drink and the soap my penis had grown an additional two inches. I've had a considerable improvement with my sex life and these pills are certainly worth every penny I spent on them! I want to thank Dr Akhigbe for the time and effort they have spent on helping people in my situation.I know many are out there who are suffering this problem and they need help, email him.    drrealakhigbe@gmail.com.    He also cure other diseases like: Painful or Irregular Menstruation. HIV/Aids. Breast Enlargement. Diabetics. Vaginal Infections. Vaginal Discharge. Itching Of the Private Part. Breast Infection. Discharge from Breast. Breast Pain & Itching. Lower Abdominal Pain. No Periods or Periods Suddenly Stop. Women Sexual Problems. High Blood Pressure Chronic Disease. Pain during Sex inside the Pelvis. Pain during Urination. Pelvic Inflammatory Disease, (PID). Dripping Of Sperm from the Vagina As Well As for Low sperm count. Parkinson disease. Lupus.  Cancer.  Tuberculosis.  Zero sperm count.  Asthma.  Quick Ejaculation. Gallstone, Terminal Illnesses, Premature Ejaculation. Herpes. Joint Pain. Stroke. Weak Erection.  Erysipelas, Thyroid, Discharge from Penis. HPV.  Hepatitis A and B. STD. Staphylococcus + Gonorrhea + Syphilis. Heart Disease.  Pile-Hemorrhoid.rheumatism, thyroid, Autism, Penis enlargement,  Waist & Back Pain.  Male Infertility and Female Infertility. For your cure email him now:   drrealakhigbe@gmail.com    or Contact his numbe:  +2349010754824.

    ReplyDelete