Everywhere we go from meeting friends to the supermarket and on the phone people always ask, 'How are you today' and I always say, 'Fine thank you'.
But the reality is that often I am lying.
Sometimes I would like to say that I am on the edge and feel like running away from our situation, or that actually I feel like bursting out in tears, but I don't.
I often wonder what people would do if I was truthful and said that I felt miserable and frightened about our future, because I often do.
I have in the past once or twice said how I really felt and was met with awkwardness from the person who didn't quite know how to respond.
With Tom's illness it's hard to accept what is happening and just because he is 80 and I am 74 does not mean that we are ready to lay down and die.
We still feel like we used to and have things that we would like to achieve, even if some of them are now impossible.
What about you.
Do you feel this way sometimes.