Saturday, 23 October 2021


Yesterday was a horrible day.

We had call from Francesco the Respiratory nurse to talk about 'End of Life Plan'

We knew that it was something that needed to be sorted out even if it's not imminent but never the less it was harrowing to say the least.

Normally a Hospice would be the place of choice to get the very best help but in these days of Covid and the possibility of another Lockdown it would mean that we would be unable to visit Tom should he be in there for respite care or end of life. 

So we have opted for the home.

I'm sure you can imagine how upsetting this was to discuss and sort out but it's done and dusted now and in the meantime we carry on hopefully for a lot longer.

I'd like to say a big thankyou to all who have read and commented on the last post, it's nice to know that you understand and enjoy reading my posts, even the not so cheerful one's.


On a more uplifting note the cats are not a happy bunch at the moment.

 Out next door neighbours thank goodness are like us and love the foxes and birds.

They leave a washing up bowl full of water on the wall for the seagulls who love nothing better than to have a lovely bath.

They also put out cat biscuits twice a day and we have crows, seagulls, magpies and jays visiting every day.

But, these biscuits are a beacon for all of the cats in the area. We are getting cats visiting the wall that I have never seen before.

As you might guess this is not to the liking of our five.

Here's a lovely tabby that I have never seen before and Rupert spotted him through the leaves on our stairs

Luckily he doesn't seem to mind as long as they do not enter the garden and just to make sure he places himself on the top step and sits watching the hole in the gate and keeping cavey.
In case you are wondering what 'cavey' means here is the explanation.

It's properly spelt "cave", which is Latin for "Beware!" It is British public-schoolboy slang (n.b. that in Britain "public schools" are actually expensive private schools). While the class did something illicit, one boy would watch and would hiss "Cave" to his classmates when he spotted a "beak" (teacher) coming. I don't know if it is used any more, now that Latin is almost extinct in public schools.



  1. Oh Briony, how very upsetting for you both. I'm so glad that my lovely Mum died at Christmas just before Covid started....she was in hospital for the last few weeks of her life and wouldn't have been able to have all the visits from her treasured friends and family if it had been during the pandemic. She'd have absolutely hated that. Here's hoping you and Tom have many more happy times ahead. xx

  2. Although it must be a terribly upsetting process for you it is something that, looking back, I wish we had done for my father in law. When the end finally came it was clear that he was not where he wanted to be and it was distressing for all concerned.
    Your neighbourhood cats are very lucky aren't they xx

  3. That blue plastic washing up bowl does nothing to enhance the look of the rather nice wall!

  4. It is horrible to face end of life, but at least now it is done.
    We all need to enjoy every moment that we can and be grateful for what we have. Before Covid, I took things for granted - I have been taught a very valuable lesson.
    Have a happy weekend.
    Best wishes

  5. Very brave post, it something we all have to face at some point, I hope you keep your strength, and keep sharing your feelings, blogland can be a huge support for things you don't want to say to family and friends. Our neighbour has about 20 cats which roam and came into our garden, my small cats Grace was scared of them all. We have now added to the fence height and stopped them entering our garden so Grace and Purdy, both female, have their safe space. Luckily for us she feeds the foxes and birds in her front garden, where our cats don't go.

  6. I can see how yesterday would have been very upsetting. Even though it's a fact of life, it's not something we really want to think about. I would have gone for the option of staying at home as well.
    Rupert is doing a good job at keeping a watch on things. :)

  7. I wish I could give you a big hug, Briony - not possible but I do understand some of what you are going through. It was about this time last year when we had that discussion with palliative care. Keeping your loved one at home is hard but it is such a comfort to the person needing care and therefore it is a comfort to the person giving care also. That's what kept me going when it seemed overwhelming. May you have many warm and tender moments still to come amidst the difficult ones.

    Good boy, Rupert, standing guard. It's nice that your neighbour and you are in agreement about caring for nature's children.

  8. That sounds a very difficult thing to have to talk about. Be brave.

  9. What a difficult discussion that must have been.Hopefully you can try and put it to the back of your mind but be comforted to know things are in place.

  10. Oh Briony, what a difficult time for you and Tom, I´m so sorry. Hopefully talking things through will have given you some peace of mind. x

  11. I can understand how hard this would be for both of you, and am glad for you that it is done and you can share with us and get support. My dad was not up to doing what you two did together, Mother did it herself from her bed. We live 400 miles away from them, and when she left us, she had a book by her bedside with instructions and plans and phone numbers. for the funeral she simply wrote, call Jerry at this number. He was a friend of the family and owned a funeral home. We had nothing to do. He had her plans down and already paid for... now that I type this, I hope it is not morbid or upsetting, I just want you to know I care and feel your pain

  12. I would have thought you folks would have been "warned" ahead of time about any discussions of end-of-life issues. Or even asked if you'd like to discuss them and when. That would have been a frightening or better yet as you put it "harrowing" ordeal. Hospice at home is what everyone primarily does, here in the States... at least that's pretty much what I've only heard of. We have a few hospice "centers" in the area but not too many & their space is limited. It's more common for hospice nurses to visit private homes and help out that way. I think your choice of doing hospice at home is perfect, Briony, and I am more than confident that all will go smoothly when the time comes. May the time NOT come for many years yet!!! ~Andrea xoxoxo PS~ I'm a retired registered nurse and cared for my mom here at home until her death... so if you need any pointers about anything, please just ask me. Mom was bed-bound for almost a year and had a very peaceful death here at home. In fact I hope I do the same when my turn comes. xoxo

  13. Ha-ha! I had not heard the term "beak" in many years. I got a free scholarship to the top boys' school in Hull and when you were asked to see the headmaster you said, "I'm off to see The Beak". I hated that school so much and had to see "The Beak" several times in the five years I was there. He caned me on three occasions as I was not as compliant as he liked lads to be.

  14. It can't have been easy for you but unfortunately it's something we all have to come to terms with as we get older, it's a shame about the hospice covid has a lot to answer for, lets hope that it's a long time before plans have to be put into action but as you say at least it is now sorted. The wild life are very lucky in your neighbourhood haha.

  15. I am so very sorry! We went thru this same thing with my Mom. She was so shocked, and didn't really know what to decide for her end of life place. And the new cats, OY! We have a lot of strays around here. The people next door had a cat that liked to sit at the locked screen door and look out. The feral stray cat clawed through the screen to get inside!!

  16. A difficult discussion to have but I am sure that it would feel good to have it out of the way and the decision made. Hopefully it will not have to be acted on for some time yet. Hugs from New Zealand.

  17. Oh, that was a tough conversation and plan to make, I am sure. I'm so sorry that this sadness has come your and Tom's way. Maybe the neighbor could put the kibble in a bowl down on the other side of the wall and your cats won't be disturbed by the wanderers? Poor old kitties - we have so many strays here, too. I put food out again since the coyotes seem to be back in bounds more.